moving moving

i got past page 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. i got stuck on 16. when i get towards the end of a paper, it's like i can't squeeze out another ounce of creative juice out of my brain!

last weekend, i worked around the clock. then this week, i took it easy. i'm wondering if i shouldn't do it the other way - work hard during the week and play during the weekend when everyone else wants to play.

i have been noticing that when i am anchored down and i'm studying, these are moments that i don't mind being alive. i am not bored. i am not wondering about the purpose or meaning of my life. i simply read, write, think, and synthesize, etc. i guess people are made differently. and what makes one person tick may not be what makes another person tick. and for me, that driving force is best experienced when my mind is clear and i am trying to learn new things and then trying to figure out how to unify new and old knowledge. it's cool that i get to live in the way that brings me most sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, happiness, peace.