true grounds

life can be good sometimes even when it is bad. this morning my friend and i came to a coffee shop to study and we might go exercise later. anyway all that to say when you keep busy doing something, anything at all, time passes by faster. so this morning is looking pretty good.

i'm really excited about writing blogs with hopes that it can be helpful for people out there who are struggling with depression. i have been "recovering" from my current episode of depression for 5 years! how does depression last for so long you ask? i've had one relapse after another so in the past 5 years i've been in and out of the hospitals, taking this medicine and that medicine. i feel like my therapist is getting impatient with me finally. it doesn't feel nice that she seems to be losing patience. the other day i was telling her how i was crying hysterically and life seemed so hopeless. she just said that sometimes we have to have a good cry. sure. a good cry is nice sometimes. but the kind of crying that went on wasn't a cathartic cry at all. it was a kind of crying that comes out from the depths of your soul, from the inner most parts of your being and it rips you of any stability you feel. so yes, it's good that i cried. it's better that i was able to sleep with the aid of a sleeping medicine to put a break on the painful crying episode.

i have a good friend. i'm here in the coffee shop with her now. whenever we talk or hang out we bring out the best in each other. we share our thoughts and feelings and we accept one another as we are, not how we should be or how we want to be, but just as we are. i thank god for her. :)

three (one being me out of the four siblings) might come live with me and EM (my roommate). EM is the bestest roommate i ever had! since it isn't her responsibility to take care of me, my parents and three think that it would be good for me if three came to live with us. i think that would be really nice. but i hope i won't become a burden to three. last thing in the world i want is to be a burden on three or anyone else for that matter. i mean, who wants to be a burden on anyone?

i'm going to chicago next week to see two, mr two (my brother in law) and my lovely niece. my niece brings smiles and happiness into my heart even when the world seems to be falling apart. i really love her. and she loves me. now that's something to write home about, don't you think?