intensive group therapy day 9

it's hard to keep track of each day now. this week, we had two members join the group. they are both nice. each person brings a new perspective to the group.

everyday is a struggle - getting out of bed has been difficult. i don't want to do anything. i basically have to force myself to get to places.

last weekend was amazing. i got the paper done! and i even had time to go shopping and had dinner with my mom both saturday and sunday.

i'm learning new skills in the intensive group therapy program. whether any of it will come handy when i'm feeling intense and awful feelings, we'll have to see.

this week i became aware that i want to communicate with my parents about what it's like to be depressed. i don't know if i'll actually attempt to tell them how hard it's been. i am thinking about it. and maybe that's a start.

i haven't done any reading since i finished the paper on sunday afternoon. man oh man! i'll start reading tomorrow morning. yeah.

good enough is good enough?

i'm waking up so early now that it's more like i take a little nap in the late evening. my mom has jet lag and so she's up early in the morning. so this morning at 4 am we had pancakes. :) pancakes at any time of day is good for me.

mom and i went to a morning service at a korean church this morning. my korean is getting worse. when the pastor was reading the scripture passage i really wanted to crack open an english bible. i had one right infront of me too. i was just too lazy.

i want to turn in my seminar paper today! i think it should be 15 pages at least. but i only have thirteen pages. man oh man. i'm trying to squeeze out every drop of creativity i can find in myself but it's not working so well. i used to be able to crank more pages with less effort!

lord have mercy.