happy birthday!

it's four's birthday tomorrow. happy birthday!!! i can't believe four is twenty three years old now. he has to study in the library all day on his birthday. hope he gets a lot of work done and that he has a happy day today.

so i did go to church today. we got there late which i wasn't too unhappy about. :) we stayed until the end of the service. i wasn't sure that i could make it to the end of the service, but i did. i hadn't participated in communion in about a month. since our church has communion every sunday, i took the elements during communion. i prayed that it is because of grace i can take communion and not for anything i have done, or not done.

as for remorse over what happened about three weeks ago - a serious self destructive act - i don't always feel sorry that i did it. i think it was to have acted on impulse. i'm glad to be alive. and yes, i over reacted. i was a drama queen that night. a delirious drama queen. i'm payinig the price for having missed two weeks of my life in the "real" world. i have to get an incomplete for my class and work on the final paper during winter break. there are some other complications too but none which i feel like writing about at the moment.

i got a domain name today! i haven't done anything with it yet but maybe over the winter break, i'll work on the website. it will give me something to do. it will occupy the moments in between - after i wake up until i go to sleep. and god knows it's difficult for me to fill those waking momonts!