tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40940432011-11-27T19:09:27.539-05:00bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.comBlogger591100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-68505623306601144052008-05-24T11:01:00.003-04:002008-05-24T11:06:14.360-04:00

i got past page 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. i got stuck on 16. when i get towards the end of a paper, it's like i can't squeeze out another ounce of creative juice out of my brain! last weekend, i worked around the clock. then this week, i took it easy. i'm wondering if i shouldn't do it the other way - work hard during the week and play during the weekend when everyone else wants to play

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-65066962011067866282008-05-10T09:50:00.002-04:002008-05-10T09:52:35.956-04:00

i'm stuck on page 9. it happens sometimes. i get stuck on a page for a while. oh well. hope i get up to page 15 by the end of the day! this paper has been really fun to write. i even use an example from lord of the rings. hehe

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-38017699784214588582008-05-07T20:55:00.002-04:002008-05-07T20:58:10.972-04:00

my days seem long b/c at every moment i'm trying to write but they seem short at the same time b/c at the end of the day, i have nothing to show for the anxiety that i experienced during the day. my life at the moment is better captured by "slow death" than anything having to do with life.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-15381685917019273872008-04-28T17:54:00.002-04:002008-04-28T17:56:50.135-04:00

last week was a difficult time for our community with some (unexpected) family matters. but we got through it together and we're going to keep on going through the hard times together!as for my paper, i have written 5 pages (of about 20 pg paper) which is due tomorrow morning at 9:30 am! man oh man. i guess i'm not going to get much sleep tonight. :)

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-78445332327094271432008-04-21T17:04:00.000-04:002008-04-21T17:05:38.220-04:00

i need some good news! anybody, anybody?

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-43596197741511048592008-04-07T10:49:00.002-04:002008-04-07T10:51:16.270-04:00

i guess good enough and done is better than perfect and unfinished. so my presentation was not a total flop. how did that happen? i was so unprepared. i guess people were incredibly polite. today is a very very special person's birthday. :) happy birthday!!!

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-87279599884281354982008-03-31T14:47:00.002-04:002008-03-31T14:51:38.839-04:00

our flight got cancelled! i guess i don't mind so much actually. i get to spend more time with my niece. i have to finish my presentation tonight (since the presentation is tomorrow morning!). will it get done? how will it get done???btw chicago planetarium is not the most exciting place to visit. my niece had a good time somehow. but the rest of us were like, get me out of here!!! we

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-3881882043590765162008-03-27T15:36:00.002-04:002008-03-27T15:38:28.551-04:00

first draft of my thesis is due on april 7th! i guess that means i'll have to start writing it soon. i have a presentation on april 1st so i'm still trying to finish the book i'm supposed to present. wow. time sure flies. i can't believe how fast this semester has gone by. when will spring really come? i love snow so i'm not complaining. but man shouldn't we be getting rain at this time

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-39262023247193553342008-03-18T13:05:00.003-04:002008-03-18T13:09:08.103-04:00

i was in nyc over the weekend. i ate good food, stayed at a huge hotel suite (for nyc that is), saw art works of klimt, etc. etc. it was really fun. it was really good to be away from home for a little bit. and of course the best part of the trip was coming home. :)i just got back from class and feel really great! i asked lots and lots of questions. considering that i didn't understand a

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-40880677786141233062008-03-13T10:46:00.003-04:002008-03-13T10:50:08.419-04:00

the counseling center where i did my intensive therapy group and am now doing once a week group is closing as a profit and re-opening some time in the near future as a non-profit. i was like, if they can't make money as a for profit group, how can they survive as a non-profit? a friend told me if they go non-profit they'll get government funding and tax break. so i guess it's good. in the

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-25900386363912075702008-03-09T12:15:00.002-04:002008-03-09T12:21:24.803-04:00

on thursday night we sat 4 rows away from the hockey rink! our team lost and there was only one fight. still i had a great time, hot dogs, nachos and wings and all. :)friday night i watched la vie en rose. man it was a long movie. the acting was good. but the story wasn't really all that interesting. i guess since you know that the singer dies, there isn't much suspense involved. last

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-47294414858091209702008-03-06T07:52:00.003-05:002008-03-06T08:02:20.640-05:00

i had a busy busy day yesterday. i went to morning prayer, exercised, met with my pcp, and went to my once a week group therapy. i was so happy to say hi to my old group members! i miss you guys!!! i don't know that every group bonds as well as we did. we genuinely liked each other, respected oen another, and enjoyed being a group. my wednesday group was better than last week. people

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-48176091611185167702008-03-03T09:34:00.002-05:002008-03-03T09:41:02.365-05:00

i had a great weekend! we went to a cool restaurant, watched once and lives of others, had dinner with my old therapy group members, etc. etc. yesterday was a bad driving day. at 6 in the morning, i tried to do a u turn on a bridge and then realized a cop was right behind me. so i backed up. for some strange reason, the cop didn't stop me! and then later in china town parking lot, while

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-75105981252022413172008-02-29T15:26:00.002-05:002008-02-29T15:28:18.284-05:00

my roommate, my roommate's friend, my sister and i went wedding dress shopping for my roomnmate last night. she looked pretty in every single wedding dress! she's going to be a beautiful bride at her wedding. wow.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-82036579189045042642008-02-29T15:20:00.001-05:002008-02-29T15:21:44.858-05:00

i am really psyched. i ran a mile in 11:20. that's the fastest i ever ran a mile!!!

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-6065022120002339682008-02-28T13:02:00.002-05:002008-02-28T13:08:51.722-05:00

we're going wedding dress shopping in this evening! i'm really looking forward to it. i'm probably more excited than my roommate (she's the bride to be). perks of having finished the evening dbt program of course is that i ate dinner around 6 pm last night and i can go wedding dress shopping before the stores close. i started a new group yesterday and let me just say that i really miss my old

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-88421873027574809522008-02-25T09:13:00.002-05:002008-02-25T09:17:48.803-05:00

i'm done summarizing 4 out of 8 chapters for my presentation tomorrow. wow. i am half way done! i've tackled the chapters i know better so the rest of the presentation is going to be more difficult. oh well. i didn't get the watch the hollywood party last night. isn't it a shame that i didn't get to check out pretty dresses? yeah. yeah. at my sister's insistence i went to church

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-39316353011013520252008-02-23T10:44:00.002-05:002008-02-23T10:48:17.118-05:00

i'm trying to find balance in my day today. i have to prepare for a presentation on tuesday. i still have to review the 360 page manuscript!!! i am not as stressed as i could be. so that's good.on friday evening my group therapy program was cancelled due to the weather. so i still have 2 more days left. lately i either feel bad or numb. this morning i can't tell how i feel at all.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-5551169193567024212008-02-19T20:40:00.002-05:002008-02-19T20:47:14.777-05:00

i feel scared of my own emotions and thoughts. i need a frozen orange!!!

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-74504168039950781572008-02-15T19:39:00.001-05:002008-02-15T19:40:42.847-05:00

my brother was here for a week. my sister came on wednesday. it's nice to have family in town!i have a week and a day left in my intensive group therapy. it's so weird that the time went by so fast. i don't know for sure that i will cope better. but we'll see. this weekend i have a ton of reading to do. hopefully (with med change starting tomorrow) i can get some work done.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-83110828268956549632008-02-13T21:53:00.002-05:002008-02-13T21:56:27.617-05:00

i have a week and a half left in the intensive group therapy program. yay! i have come to really care for the group members. and i'll be happy to have some time freed up to study. last weekend i slept about 18 hrs in a 24 hr period. i didn't feel good so i just kept sleeping and sleeping. oh well. tomorrow morning i will be working out at 8 am! wow. i'll be impressed if/when i get there.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-78391500433100737042008-02-08T21:12:00.000-05:002008-02-08T21:15:05.213-05:00

group therapy this week was very strange. two people stopped coming. we had a major upset yesterday in three of the groups where group members got really upset. today we spent most of our energy hashing that out and trying to come up with solutions. i was left feeling angry but i wasn't even the person who was involved in the situations! i guess i was empathizing with the powerlessness the

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-71130202441048085522008-02-07T20:34:00.001-05:002008-02-07T20:36:06.938-05:00

i don't know how good it is to do this but i'm holding on to my target behavior as an option should things take a turn for the worst. it's not that i'm closed to the possibility that my depression can get better. just in case things don't improve, i know i'll act on my impulses.on a happier note, my brother is visiting me and it's been great. yesterday we went to two museums that i hadn't been

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-30773597603618683482008-02-01T10:34:00.000-05:002008-02-01T10:36:05.439-05:00

i'm totally in shock. i got a good grade for the paper i was agonizing over. it's the best grade i've received since i started the program. wow. what now? do i all of a sudden have hope? i am starting to believe that maybe the dark clouds are moving, albeit slowly. thank you God!

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-77328895629549697162008-01-31T23:00:00.000-05:002008-01-31T23:08:57.836-05:00

today felt weird. it just seemed like any other day. last year around this time i felt really (unrealistically) optimistic about the up coming year. as it turned out the past year was really really hard. many hospital visits, and academic troubles! this year i'm not as optimistic but have realistic "hope." maybe i'll end up in the hospital, maybe i won't. maybe i'll graduate, maybe i won't

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-27432879958771989412008-01-29T21:28:00.001-05:002008-01-29T21:29:59.161-05:00

i had to contract for safety after group therapy today. we did a behavior analysis of someone who had just attempted suicide. i got triggered during group and didn't feel so good. fortunately i was able to check in with a counselor after that group then again after the evening ended. i feel much better right now after talking about some of the issues in a group following the behavioral

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-6506286507229382562008-01-28T22:07:00.001-05:002008-01-28T22:11:31.675-05:00

i feel raw emotions from last night when i was brain storming for ways to "final exit." i felt worse after generating some ideas about how the final exit might appear to be natural. goupd therapy was good. we discussed how i might cope with triggers. there are no easy answers. i just have to keep at working on feeling better. there are good days and there are bad days. i just have to keep

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-50500440999722095072008-01-27T15:15:00.001-05:002008-01-27T15:18:36.697-05:00

it is becoming harder and harder to sit through worship service on sundays. why is this the case? i feel disconnected from the worship service as a whole, disconnected from the sermon, the hymns and the prayers. it's not a good place to be for me. and yet i feel it over and over again that i have to sit through the service. maybe it will be better for me just to take a break from going to

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-30402292491656432842008-01-24T21:58:00.000-05:002008-01-24T22:03:14.372-05:00

it's hard to keep track of each day now. this week, we had two members join the group. they are both nice. each person brings a new perspective to the group. everyday is a struggle - getting out of bed has been difficult. i don't want to do anything. i basically have to force myself to get to places. last weekend was amazing. i got the paper done! and i even had time to go shopping and

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-76646497573089891782008-01-20T13:56:00.000-05:002008-01-20T14:01:04.146-05:00

i'm waking up so early now that it's more like i take a little nap in the late evening. my mom has jet lag and so she's up early in the morning. so this morning at 4 am we had pancakes. :) pancakes at any time of day is good for me. mom and i went to a morning service at a korean church this morning. my korean is getting worse. when the pastor was reading the scripture passage i really

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-86321814978451538802008-01-19T10:05:00.000-05:002008-01-19T10:09:20.356-05:00

i got up early this morning because i slept early. doesn't that really make sense? anyway i went to starbucks this morning as they were opening. i got some reading done there. i then came to the library. i gotta say i much prefer the library. it's noisy in starbucks! sometimes i don't mind the noise but man oh man this morning i couldn't stand it. anyway all this to say that it feels

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-48007832178736696142008-01-18T22:33:00.000-05:002008-01-18T22:36:20.271-05:00

today was day five, in other words first full week of intensive therapy! yipee. i got 5 more weeks to go...group therapy was fine. we discussed weekend planning. people were really encouraging for me to get some studying done. then we had a group for affirmation. i was like huh? but then it made sense. my home work is to repeat to myself "i can do it" as many times as i can/need to this

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-36706745535728889092008-01-17T20:47:00.000-05:002008-01-17T21:28:40.023-05:00

on monday i started an intensive group therapy program. it's starting to become a blur now how the week's gone by so i thought i better write some things down.day 1 - i just felt that the four hours went by so slowly. i couldn't imagine how the next six weeks were going to be. i learned about willingness vs willfulness and opposite to current emotion action. i talked mostly about how i wasn't

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-38095226038557066672008-01-13T21:04:00.000-05:002008-01-13T22:13:36.341-05:00

i came home with mom yesterday. there's something peaceful about coming home. this week i have to write a major paper. but i'm so sleepy all the time. i start an intensive group therapy tomorrow. the program lasts for six weeks! maybe there will be a snow day tomorrow. hehei was at my church today and i realized that i missed the people at my church. it was really nice to see them. the

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-68046266112591638922008-01-07T22:39:00.001-05:002008-01-07T23:17:32.810-05:00

it's warm in chicago. i came here on sunday (reserved and bought ticket early in the morning) due to family circumstances... there has been a death in the extended family. it feels so weird to say that. i'm praying for the family. my sister and niece are sick too. anyway i came so i could help out in anyway that i can. but you know, i'm not much help at all. i just load up the dish washer

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-12045011787400881392008-01-03T12:23:00.001-05:002008-01-03T20:25:00.319-05:00

when you change churches, especially if one is a small church that feels like a family like my current church, it rather feels like you’re changing friends. of course you can still hang out with friends from the old church, but it feels/it will feel strange b/c it’s a little bit like, oh we weren’t good enough for you? maybe it’s just me, but i feel a bit like that myself when people change

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-75621567180914508172008-01-01T11:08:00.000-05:002008-01-01T12:30:44.370-05:00

happy new year!!!i slept early last night and didn't really experience a new beginning of the new year. every one was away so what can you do? anyway, i woke up this morning and had some dry cereal because i ran out of milk. yeah, i know. pretty sad, huh? anyway i put on some smokey eye shadow that my roommate got me and i'm loving it! and i made coffee for myself which is a compromise

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-74800745499822868042007-12-29T13:14:00.000-05:002007-12-29T14:45:40.973-05:00

jfk airport has got to be the most run down airports that i have seen recently! anway i'm flying delta so i had to walk over two teriminals. i found my gate, ate lunch, got my fill of starbucks and then sat near my gate. what do i find but my beloved hotspot working in the gate area? so i checked my flight status on line. i found out my gate changed, so i had to rush over to the other wing.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-60627832256894785792007-12-22T00:57:00.001-05:002007-12-22T01:04:00.537-05:00

i don't know why. but once in a while i google the love of my life. today i discoverd a new link when i googled his name. he has profiles on amazon.com. so i clicked on it. i couldn't read the words he wrote. pretty silly, don't you think?it's not that i am still in love with him. he's just the only person i had a real relationship with, the only person i loved romantically, and the only

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-56836072996334698922007-12-21T08:17:00.002-05:002009-12-20T22:27:20.337-05:00

for me the line between personal and professional blog is really difficult to draw. in anycase i decided to keep this blog as a personal. at the moment i am not even sure what that means. :) anyway i'm inspired by kongtemplation to keep a professional blog so i'll try my best to keep this one personal and the other one professional. as for being a professional - i'm a perpetual student,

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-28431292116566878052007-12-21T07:05:00.000-05:002007-12-21T07:27:18.494-05:00

i'm visiting my familly in korea. the plane ride wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it might be. i even studied for a bit on the plane. the visit so far is not as bad as i had feared. so all in all, things are good. i'm trying to type without using my left index finger and it's reallly hard! i had to get what i think was a wart from my finger. the nurse said it wasn't contagious. anyway i

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-10302112853564505962007-12-18T12:33:00.000-05:002007-12-18T12:38:24.169-05:00

praise god! my professor gave me an extension for the seminar paper!!! i am so relieved. the due date is a month from now! i think i can do it. all week long, i have been agonizing over requesting for the incomplete. last night i sent an e-mail to my prof and he wrote me back right away to say that i can get an incomplete. how cool and awesome is that???my niece was dropped off at school

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-84451877427595850182007-12-16T03:37:00.000-05:002007-12-16T03:53:56.014-05:00

i was talking my family last night and one of the ideas we generated was that i could be a graphic artist. i have an interest in art (painting, photography, drawing). and if i could channel my artistic creativity to work, i might enjoy what i do. so should i do it??? i don't know the first thing about graphic design. well, that's not absolutely true since i was a co-editor of my yearbook in

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-18049446140683673382007-12-16T00:46:00.001-05:002007-12-16T00:50:40.686-05:00

You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right BrainedThe left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.Daring and intuitive

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-49693661817181887662007-12-16T00:27:00.001-05:002007-12-16T00:34:10.978-05:00

i wonder if i blog more when i don't really talk to people? hmmm. all this week, well, since wednesday three and i have been visiting two. and since i got here, i haven't really had anything to write home about. for instance, last night, we talked until about 2 or 3 am about everything under the sun. it didn't hurt that we had some beer in us along with peanuts and dried squid (typical

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-28771907674170025352007-12-16T00:10:00.001-05:002007-12-16T00:26:48.568-05:00

should we move to chicago? (not right now of course) real estate is great here. much better than new england market. maybe i need a change. things, as they have been, aren't working out for me back on the east coast so much anyway. so right now i am in chicago at my sister's place. okay, we're in the suburb of chicago. but it's close enough isn't it? i haven't been feeling well this

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-24048753572945347732007-12-09T20:20:00.000-05:002007-12-09T23:10:06.279-05:00

it's four's birthday tomorrow. happy birthday!!! i can't believe four is twenty three years old now. he has to study in the library all day on his birthday. hope he gets a lot of work done and that he has a happy day today. so i did go to church today. we got there late which i wasn't too unhappy about. :) we stayed until the end of the service. i wasn't sure that i could make it to the

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-66862459050816720452007-12-09T11:34:00.000-05:002007-12-09T11:44:47.265-05:00

life can be good sometimes even when it is bad. this morning my friend and i came to a coffee shop to study and we might go exercise later. anyway all that to say when you keep busy doing something, anything at all, time passes by faster. so this morning is looking pretty good. i'm really excited about writing blogs with hopes that it can be helpful for people out there who are struggling

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-28875464425768806722007-12-08T23:57:00.000-05:002007-12-09T00:13:27.911-05:00

to go to church or not to go to church - this is the question that is on my mind right now. is it okay not to go to church? of course no one HAS to go to church. when you belong to a church community, however, one that is as small as my church, your absence is noticed more than your presence (i think). one of my siblings told me that she would pray for me even though she's having personal

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-51743015489294700572007-12-08T22:48:00.001-05:002007-12-08T23:23:40.637-05:00

there are no two ways about it. when life sucks, it really sucks. nothing is enjoyable, as if you can't taste a thing you eat. you look forward to nothing. nothing, not a thing brings happiness, joy or even a drop of hope. so what is there to live for? must you live for others? live in order to spare them of the grief they would experience in your absence? but surely you cannot live for others.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-945579212003-05-18T21:48:00.000-04:002007-12-08T23:23:24.057-05:00

i can't do it i can't do it i can't do it it's really hard to get back to myself even though i mostly feel like myself again. i don't want anything. i don't want to do anything. i just want to sit all day long. does this still count as depression? not sure

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-919383172003-04-03T16:34:00.000-05:002007-12-08T23:23:24.067-05:00

i don't have the strength to fight i don't want things to be this way not caring about anything i am letting people down sabotizing my future is it my future? help i can't do this anymore

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-905506992003-03-11T18:29:00.000-05:002007-12-08T23:23:24.073-05:00

you reap what you sow that's what i realize after talking to a few people today today has been really weird. i couldn't get out of bed. i had to force myself to get up. why don't i care about anything today?

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-903482892003-03-08T03:44:00.000-05:002007-12-08T23:23:24.080-05:00

nocturnal bliss insomnia night owl

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-903389522003-03-07T23:07:00.000-05:002007-12-08T23:23:24.092-05:00

i'm still bleuemoon. perky. half octave better. but i'm still the same person.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-900305952003-03-02T23:02:00.000-05:002007-12-08T23:23:24.099-05:00

will this headache ever go away?

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-880302402003-01-25T22:11:00.000-05:002007-12-08T23:23:24.109-05:00

i've been feeling kind of sick. i tried not to write. but it's soooo hard! i guess promises made to oneself are difficult to keep.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-872399632003-01-10T18:22:00.000-05:002007-12-08T23:23:24.117-05:00

i love it. no one knows me i can say whatever. but it's weird because no one knows me. i thought that would be a good thing but maybe i want someone to read things!!

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4094043.post-872394072003-01-10T18:06:00.000-05:002007-12-08T23:23:24.127-05:00

this is my new anonymous blog site. no can do. you don't know me. i promise.

bleuemoonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971666080449169108noreply@blogger.com0